Well this year wasn't quite as successful for Jackson. He and another little boy were neck in neck for last place in their den. :( This was quite different for Jackson as last year he was one of the best in his den. Jason's idea was to let Jackson design the car and do nearly everything. Anyone who's ever been to the Pinewood Derby knows that no parents truly let the kids do all of their own work. Some of those cars are seriously professional! We offered more help last year and by the looks of things we should have offered a little bit more?
It is a difficult line to navigate if you ask me. Whether we are talking about school work, household chores or activities like this, how much do you help and how much do you let them figure out for themselves? When Jackson's car was coming in last and he was so upset, I can tell you that I wished we'd done more but only because it was hard to see my child disappointed. After the races I asked Jackson if he enjoyed making the car and he told me that he had had a lot of fun. Once he thought about that he began to recover and thankfully had a great day despite the loss. He even told me that he wanted to keep the car forever!
Well this year wasn't quite as successful for Jackson. He and another little boy were neck in neck for last place in their den. :( This was quite different for Jackson as last year he was one of the best in his den. Jason's idea was to let Jackson design the car and do nearly everything. Anyone who's ever been to the Pinewood Derby knows that no parents truly let the kids do all of their own work. Some of those cars are seriously professional! We offered more help last year and by the looks of things we should have offered a little bit more?
It is a difficult line to navigate if you ask me. Whether we are talking about school work, household chores or activities like this, how much do you help and how much do you let them figure out for themselves? When Jackson's car was coming in last and he was so upset, I can tell you that I wished we'd done more but only because it was hard to see my child disappointed. After the races I asked Jackson if he enjoyed making the car and he told me that he had had a lot of fun. Once he thought about that he began to recover and thankfully had a great day despite the loss. He even told me that he wanted to keep the car forever!
6 comments:
Oh, I've stood on that line SO many times!!! I agree it is so hard to decide whether to lend more of a hand so they feel as "successful" as those who had the extra help or to let them do it on their own and learn to be "successful" on their own level. I tend to lean more toward them learning for themselves but agree that their heartbreak can sometimes be so hard to see!! I think you asking him about his experience was exactly what he needed to see that he WAS successful in this adventure ... and I'm sure you and he are incredibly proud of his hard work and accomplishment - even if the car didn't win the race ;)
Suggestions from a "PINEWOOD DERBY HATING MOM!" (Because of what you just described). One year we "banned" parental "help" and had a race for Moms, Dads and Scouts(each separate). Most of the Scouts actually made their own cars and had a BLAST racing them. They even PLAYED with them before and after the races, not worrying about "damage". We even typed up sheets of "hints from the Engineer parents" for each boy (shake wheels and axles in powdered graphite for a week BEFORE the race so it embeds in the material...etc.)
We emphasized that the Scout Motto says "DO YOUR BEST" not "Dad's Best". If the adults "buy in" it can be such a fun time for the kids. I'll never forget the "Silver Bullet" car from that year or the one decorated with magic markers.
SOOOO glad Jackson has learned to have fun creating and enjoying his creations without necessarily having to be in the spotlight.
WAY TO GO JACKSON!
I so get that one!! I love the idea of a banned parental help thing. That way-- at least all the kids are on equal playing ground. We've won once and lost big once. Nothing like tears at church activities!! I love the car though Jackson-- way to go!!
We still have a car that Spencer made for an EQ Pinewood Derby at Wymount. What is it with the keeping of these things??? But that is very sweet about Jackson!
Let's hear it for redirecting emotion! Good job mom.
This is not exactly related, but your story reminded me of something that happened in primary yesterday. I needed 6 helpers to come up and help unwrap gifts (that represented gifts of the Savior). One of the Sunbeams was being quite unruly and played around and danced around the front on the room, right next to me for most of sharing time. When it came time open the gifts, part me wanted to call on him to help, because he was dancing around my legs raising his hand in the air as high as he could, because he so badly wanted to open a present. But, I considered that rewarding his behavior would not set a very good precedent for all the other children, so I resisted.
As soon as the last present was opened and he realized he didn't get to unwrap he, he burst into tears. As I wrapped up my lesson and went to sit down, I saw him completely red faced, crying, with his head down. I took him by the hand and asked him to come out into the hallway and talk to me. I asked him if he was sad because he didn't get to open a present. Then I asked him if he understood why he didn't get picked to help. I explained that I was asking children who were being reverent to help me with my lesson and that next time, if he was being reverent, I would ask him to help me. His lower lip still quivered.
Then I quickly asked him if he wanted to get a drink at the water fountain before we went back in - and the tears were gone. Let's hear it for changing the subject!!
Wow, that story was longer than I thought it would be. :)
You're so right -- as a parent it's a fine line to walk. Throw in competition and you have an even bigger issue. The trouble is -- super competitors always win. . . or lose! Now isn't that profound! As always, you handled the situation well.
Jackson, you the man! Love that smiling face, and your great looking car.
Post a Comment